Well Played Universe. Well Played.

It was an exciting weekend at Motherhood is Beautiful! If you don’t follow the Motherhood is Beautiful Facebook page (you totally should, here’s the link: http://www.facebook.com/motherhoodisbeautifulandotherlies), you missed a couple of exciting announcements. First, Motherhood is Beautiful and Other Lies was featured on the blog page of an upcoming television show (http://familytravelck.com/main/real-chicago-moms-meet-sandee-h/)! So I’m like, totally famous now! Family Travel with Colleen Kelly will air on WTTW starting this Friday, May 4th. Also, my Facebook “likes” surpassed 100 on Friday night! It’s a milestone! Woot!

So I went to bed Friday night feeling cool and very fancy. The universe disagreed, and felt it necessary to exact a swift penalty.

I’ve told you about Tilly’s newfound sweetness (http://motherhoodisbeautiful.com/?p=1416), but one detail that I left out was that when she wakes up now, she starts her day standing up in her crib and saying “Mommy, where are you!” It’s the cutest thing ever, and it makes me smile when I hear it through the monitor. So on Saturday morning when she started screaming “Mommy! Mommy! I hot! I hot!” I 7:30 am, I knew something was wrong.

I ran to her room and found her standing in her crib sobbing, saying “I’m wet Mommy!” Then I smelled it. The telltale scent, diarrhea. S**t. Literally.

I picked her up and took off her jammies to change her diaper and realized I was in WAY over my head. This was not a run of the mill situation, it was a complete and utter blow out. It was all the way up her back, almost to her hair. Oh. Dear. God.

I yelled to a still sleeping Nick for help, and even though the monitor was on at full volume, Tilly was sobbing and I was yelling Nick continued snoring away. Bah! All the commotion did wake Charlie up, and I sent him in to get daddy. Charlie instead decided to get into bed and have an early morning snuggle with daddy, and never mentioned the s**t storm across the hall.

About five minutes and approximately 900 baby wipes later, I had her cleaned up and dressed and my hands scrubbed clean. Yuck!

A couple of hours later it happened yet again. This time she tried to lie about it.
S: Tilly did you poop?
T: Nope
S: Then why do you smell like poop?
T: I don’t know…
S: Can I check?
T: Nope
S: Sweetie, I need to check.

With that, I leaned over her to look into her diaper and immediately stuck my hand into a s**t pile. I saw it one second before my hand hit it. My brain did not get the “STOP HAND” message until it was too late. This time it was up to her shoulder blades. Fortunately I had back up for this one, plus the added bonus of Charlie hysterically laughing while doing diarrhea play by play.

Disgusting.

After she was cleaned up and redressed, it occurred to me, I am neither cool nor am I fancy. Point taken. I fully understand the message.

Well played universe. Well played.

Posted under Favorites by Sandee Harned