16
April

That Really Cheeses Me Off!

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You are all so amazing! Thank you so much for contributing today! The world of pet peeves is endless, and I may have to do a follow-up soon!! Keep sending them in! I have been giggling for DAYS!

  • People who use a public washroom (esp in an office) and don’t wash their hands. Um, hello!? I see you at our 2pm meeting and at 1:55pm I saw you leave the potty and you didn’t wash your hands. Gross.
  • Students that don’t know anything and don’t care that they don’t know anything.
  • People who leave fingerprints all over the wine glasses they drink out of (which is amusing since I do this – I annoy myself).
  • People who are racist.
  • People who tell me their child was sleeping 12 hours at night at 8 weeks old. BULLS**T!
  • People who drive like a-holes (on the shoulder then cut me off) <Odd connection, an old friend of mine had a cousin who was driving on the shoulder and being an ass, went around a corner and hit a stalled car. He died. I used to be that asshole until I heard that story. ~  S>
  • People who drive with their dogs in the laps.
  • A wet toilet seat! Especially when I am at a nice restaurant! I’m a sitter, and if I have time (you know what I’m talking about), I check the seat, wipe it off and/or put a paper cover on it. When I find a wet surprise I feel like writing Ann Landers or Dear Abby <I think they are both dead darling, unfortunately you will have to settle with me ~ S>. If you are going to pee standing up, why not lift the seat up (using TP, of course). When you are done, you can leave the seat up (dry, thank you) and I will use a piece of TP to put it down again!

No caption needed.

  •  Gaining weight when I have worked out five days in a week.
  • When I talk about how hard raising children can be, the people who just tell me to hire a night nanny/get an au pair/whatever. Apparently strangers and some of my friends think we have endless wads of cash.

You mean, everyone doesn't have a secret bunker that looks like this? No? Oh! Well then I don't either....

  • People who think Africa is a country.
  • Leaving hair in the bathroom sink. Or outside the shower. Or in the shower. Grody.
  • When I can follow the trail of clothing from the bathroom to the bedroom as if a person literally walked out of their clothing. Sucks when my five year old does it, ticks me off BIG TIME when it’s my husband.
  • NOT REPLACING THE MOTHERF**KING TOILET PAPER ON THE MOTHERF**KING ROLL. <Nick and I actually had an argument about this once, it was the only argument where we both realized how damn stupid it was WHILE we were arguing. We were both giggling while screaming “No, YOU left it down to the brown!” (i.e. the cardboard roll, this argument had nothing to do with poo – odd for me, I know). It is now revered in our home as the ‘Down to the Brown’ fight. ~ S>

Did you know we were famous commercial actors? In 2006, Nick and I helped some friends make a commercial for Red Stripe beer. We were the 'opposite toilet paper couple.' It was long before our fight. Self-fulfilling prophecy?

  • People who think Barack Obama is a Muslim.
  • When you finish brushing your teeth, splash water on your spit so there are no nasty globs left behind in the sink!
  • Leaving one dirty dish in the sink, if it’s just one dish – wash it!
  • Bicyclists who don’t follow the rules of the road.
  • Telling me having a pet is as hard as having a child. Or it’s just like having a child.
  • People who drop the door on me when I am pushing a stroller.
  • Anyone who rants on politics. On either side of the fence. I hate you more when you post endless political rants as your facebook status.
  • When lights are left on ALL over the house.

If my house looked like this, I might leave all my lights on too.....

  • Anyone who mows their lawn before 8am or after 6pm at night.
  • When someone tells me they are going to do something and they don’t do it. My husband is famous for this and it is beyond frustrating.
  • That Jim Cantore guy on the Weather Channel. He’s intolerable.
  • Last time I checked, our families last name was not Jordan or any other famed basketball star. So banking your nasty garbage off the wall really gets me P.O.’ed when I have to scrub the wall DAILY.
  • Why can’t you close the damn cabinet door? It takes 1/8 of a second. You open it, take out a dish, and close it. You don’t even have to take your hand off the friggin door! Why can’t you push it closed?
  • People who glare at me when I bring my kids into a restaurant, or sigh and roll their eyes if someone starts to cry.
  •  Anyone who does something nasty and then follows it up with “It’s nothing personal,” it makes me want to karate chop a person in the throat. If it hurts my family, I assure you, it’s personal. Jerk.
  • Sloppy wet sinks! Use a washcloth and dry off the splashes, spills, lather, gunk and etc. in and around the sink! Just sayin… <Be careful what you wish for. I have a friend who thought her husband finally GOT IT when he started wiping off his side of the sink after he was finished shaving. Turns out he was wiping it down with his Dirty. Ass. Underpants! Oh gag me! ~ S>

Underpants. UnDerPants. Not a wash cloth. Not to be used on the sink before or AFTER they've been worn! Apparently, this is unclear for some. Does everyone have it now?

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